We always make lofty plans, like 'Let's do a mosaic!' or 'I'll help you make a stuffed animal/quilt/clothes!' But mostly I let her have a break and see what having a brood of kids might be like. Granted, MY potential brood of kids would be more spaced apart, so it isn't really a fair comparison. These guys are roughly a year apart. Pip, the oldest (hers) is 3; then mine, Z, (at 15 months younger) is almost 2; then 8 months younger is her 1-year-old, Pidu. I'm either playing referee all day, or being chastised because the baby is playing in the toilet while I'm starting the bath for the older two. Sometimes I tune them all out and read my book (until he screaming starts.) Sometimes I take my book into the room they're in and actually get some supervising done.
My sister has always had a bug up her butt about germs around her kids, so I taught my daughter not to touch babies, but if she did, only when the mommy said it was OK, and only touch the foot or top of the head, NEVER the face or hands. (Babies don't enjoy being poked in the eye, and since they put their fingers in their mouths, they're sure to catch whatever disease your child plants onto their hands.) So Z has spent the last year avoiding the baby, while being drawn like a moth to flame. When Pidu was in the baby swing, it was like watching the Earth orbit the Sun. Z would watch, and play nearby, and want to grab at the swing, but knew she shouldn't. Hover hover hover.
In fact, she was so well trained to not touch babies, that when Z and I were visiting a friend and her baby, and my friend asked Z, 'Would you like to hold the baby?' Z just froze in place. It was like watching life go into slo-mo. Her hands went slack. She was so excited, and didn't want to mess up this baby-touching opportunity, so she froze, and the blocks she was playing with dropped out of her hands. My friend said 'Okay, come sit over here.' but Z was unable to process that many words in all her anticipation. She must have heard the 'sit,' since her butt hit the floor! So we brought the baby to her. Ah! Toddler nirvana!
When Pidu was a blob, then a sitter, then a crawler, Z mostly ignored her, and Pip protected Pidu's toys like a mother lion. 'NO Z! That's PIDU's toy!' Mostly because she herself was told to leave the baby's toys alone. Now that the baby is walking, the older two treat her like an equal. I just spent two days yelling at both kids for grabbing from and pushing the baby. Actually, it was kind of refreshing, yelling at Z. I don't normally have to yell at my kid, and usually I spend the visit yelling at Pip. In fact, for a while, whenever I was telling someone to stop something, I'd automatically say Pip's name, even if it was Z I was talking to!
Since Z and Pidu are closer in age, they might become better friends than Z and Pip. On the other hand, Z has known Pip longer, and has looked up to Pip her whole life! Last visit, Z and Pidu were happily playing in Pidu's room, until Pip came in looking for her friend Z to pay with. Then the grabbing and screeching and crying began. Pip wants Z to play with her all the time, but won't actually share many of the toys. It's strange. Sometimes she'll hand over a previously coveted toy when I tell her she needs to find something for Z to play with if she's not going to share. But most times, she'll bring something out, like blocks, dump them out, make Z come play with her, then proceed to cry and insist that she NEEDS each block that Z picks up. I tell her to pick a color Z can play with, and then have to continually remind her the yellow ones are for Z. It's quite tiring. We've tried teaching her to trade if she wants what someone else has, but she isn't equitable about it. She wants the doll... Hmmm.... Z can have.... this block. NO! Not the other blocks! Well, Z doesn't want that block. She wants the doll. She'd be happy with a different doll, or even a nice stuffed animal, but Pip can't (usually) part with anything Z might actually enjoy!
This visit, when coloring with Z's pens which I brought for sharing, she had to have any color Z was using. Then would hoards all the others. 'I need green!' 'Okay. Z, do you want purple, so Pip can have the green?' 'Aaaugh! I need purple!' 'Okay, Pip. Let's let Z finish her turn, then you can have the purple.' 'NO! AAAAAAAAAAAH! I NEED PURPLE ONE NOW! WAAAAH!' (Slide off of chair, tantrum on floor.)
Z's favorite color currently is purple. Pip's was red, which was nice when we got there. Z wanted the purple necklace, Pip wanted red. Everyone was happy. (Except Piwu, who got the orange one tangled around her arm.) Then later, Pip told me her favorite color was red. I told her that was very convenient, and my sister bristled and got a little defensive and said that red had been Pip's favorite color lately, and not because Z wanted something. I explained that it was convenient because then they could both be happy with their different favorites. Well. Today, when Pip asked what Z's favorite color was, and I told her it was purple, Pip spent the rest of the day rounding up anything purple and declaring she NEEDED it, and purple was her favorite color. Argh. I don't know if all kids are like this, or just some. It makes me want to stop at the toy store on the way home and buy everything Pip refused to share, so that next time Z could have one too!
