Gettin' My "B" On

I have to keep reminding myself to take deep breaths... that I love these people... that this isn't really ME, it's the hormones and brain chemistry. I've been out of my anti-depressant for a few days, so I'm a little dizzy and woogy feeling (an out-of-it kind of feeling.) But add in some PMS hormones, and I feel like The Hulk. Or Mrs. Hyde.
I had some leftover uncooked noodles from another project and thought it would be fun to let Little Z play with them in a large bowl. I put a little shovel and rake and bucket in with it, and took it down into the TV room. She thought it was great fun... to throw around the room. Sometimes she makes intricate little floor mosaics out of noodles, pistachio shells, and a little toy centerpiece. I've been picking up these noodles for a week now. Today, DH came up and told me to come down and pick up the noodles again, since Z had thrown a ball into the bowl and bounced the noodles out everywhere. I told him he could suck it I'd be right there. I got downstairs and Z was jumping around giggling, throwing and kicking noodles around, pretending to help clean. Hubby and I cleaned up the noodles. She'd do some raking motion with her hand, like she was helping, only it just flung noodles further out. And then laaaaaaugh and laugh. And her diaper was poopy.
We finished cleaning the noodles up. Changed her diaper. While I'm sitting there with a poopy diaper balled up in my hand, my head about ready to explode with a heady mixture of fatigue, medication withdrawal and hormones, Little Z decides to jump up and down on my legs. I asked her to Get. Off. *Jump jump jump.*
I finally just stood up and left, which kind of rolled her off of me, but I had been sitting on the floor, so she didn't fall or anything. I didn't smack her, fling her across the room, or toss her out the window, which were my initial Mrs. Hyde preferences.

My husband came upstairs. Asked if I was upset about something. Me? Upset? Why would I be upset? It's only Friday, Day 5 of Stay-At-Home-Mommying without a break this week. It's not like I WARNED you that I was feeling depressed this cycle. It's not like I WARNED you that my anti-depressant was out. It's not like you asked me to come pick up some stupid noodles, which could have just been placed out of reach to begin with. IT'S NOT LIKE I'M A WOMAN WITH HORMONES AND STUFF RAMPAGING THROUGH MY BODY LIKE MADDENED WILDEBEESTS! No. Why would I be upset?