On Toddlerhood, Motherhood, and Accidental Parenting. Or, How to Duke-It-Out With Your Child Without Coming to Blows

Friday, September 24, 2010

My Girl Wants To Potty All The Time

So far, potty training has been a breeze. I don't really bother with it, and she gets to pee in her diaper(s) all day. Win-win.
I'm not being entirely honest. We've been actively potty training since she turned around 18 months. It's just been picking up more lately. But I have a low-key approach. I ask if she needs/wants to sit on the potty and then respect her decision. At my sister's house, it's almost always a 'yes,' especially once my niece pipes in that SHE needs to use the potty FIRST. The potty successes have been few and far between, until recently.
I've known for a while that she's had the muscle control, since from the very start she'd hold her pee in until she got off the potty and had her diaper back on. Sometimes, she'd literally be holding it in. But we've been ultra casual. No pressure. No stress. Do it and get a big hurrah; don't do it, and it's okay, we'll try again later! I had a bucket of 'potty presents' - little dollar store trinkets, individually gift-wrapped, and she could choose one just for sitting on the potty. Then she'd at least sit long enough to un-wrap it! I'd gotten some packs of necklaces, bracelets and rings at Claire's clearance when they had 10/$10, so I got almost 30 pieces of jewelry for her. And the Dollar Tree had packs of plastic animals, mini squirt toy animals, and such for $1/packet as well. So we had quite a stash.
Her first present opened was an Elmo stamp, from JoAnn's or Michael's dollar section (although I've since seen them at Target as well.) She loved it, but it made all future presents pale in comparison. So for a while, I'd just set her up at her little potty with some paper and her Elmo stamper on her stool and let her sit and play. We had a few potty successes. But she'd never pee while I was in the room. Either she just had to sit long enough for it to happen, or she'd hold it until I left (I got bored.) After months of this, and rejected potty presents (she liked opening them though, so I'd let her open a few each time and toss them back in, then re-wrap them!) I moved the potty into the computer room, where she could watch her shows.
Potty training took off! We went quickly from sitting long enough so that pee eventually fell out; to her grabbing her potty present bucket and asking to sit on the potty, with pee following shortly thereafter! We have good days, and stints where several days go by with no potty successes (or even attempts!) I'm terrible at remembering to ask her, and she goes through phases where she doesn't want us to change her diaper or use the potty. But overall we're moving forward and my laziness patience has paid off! Somewhere in there we graduated to 'big' presents for potty success, and she hardly ever bothers with the potty present bucket of cheap treats for just trying. She gets anything from a Dollar Store toy to a Littlest Pet Shop animal for peeing on the potty... but it's starting to get expensive! When she hasn't used the potty in a while, we tend to ramp up the rewards, and give her something bigger, like a LPS or My Little Pony set, rather than just 1 animal or part of the set. I'm fairly sure if I banged out a sticker chart, she'd adapt well to the new rewards method. But I'm lazy forgetful.
There was a mystery pee/poo at my sister's house one visit a few months ago. Her daughter denies using the little potty, and Z had been sitting on it, but she wandered off fairly quickly and I was distracted helping my niece clean up an accident. So it's inconclusive, and I hate to count that as her first poo, since I just don't know (and suspect it was my niece, for various reasons.) And we had a little teeny tiny microscopic poo once on the downstairs potty (while cleaning the garage we found another training potty from my sister-in-law, so we put it in the TV room.) But just last week, we had, what I will call THE FIRST REAL POO! An intentional poo. She asked to use the potty, and then had a normal bowel movement. BOO-YAW! None since then, all have been in the diaper, but I'll take what I can get!
I've changed my methods a little, and we've seen more success. Instead of asking her if she needs/wants to use the potty, I ask if her body is telling her that she has pee or poo that is ready to come out. Because, hey, no one WANTS to stop what they're doing to use the potty, and she doesn't NEED to.... she can just go in her diaper! And if I know she's due for a pee (10-20 minutes after eating, 5-10 minutes after waking up, right before and right after bath, etc) I tell her that it's potty time, rather than asking her. (If you aren't going to give them a choice, don't ask.) If she adamantly refuses, I don't push it, since the objective is to have her be comfortable with the potty process, rather than view it as a dreaded task, or associate yelling or frustration with the process. And often, when she initially says she doesn't need to go, she asks to use the potty shortly after, when her body is sending her the signals, which is the ultimate goal anyway! It's not like I want to be texting her at college to remind her to go to the bathroom!

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